Demonkind recognizes all gender varieties as equally valid, and we support all sexual expressions among consenting adults, in alignment with our primary value of compassion. We also delight in using sexuality as a shared ritual of energy exchange and storytelling, which requires that we stay engaged and present with each other, taking mindful ownership of each breath, each touch. In addition to compassion, we highly value transgression against dogmatic stringency, reinforcing our support for activism in the trans, queer, and non-conforming communities.
Scientific research on gender and sexuality has so far shown us that neither of them are fixed in their majority binary paradigms. In other words, any healthy person might display or feel a range of different qualities or desires, including both “opposite ends” of a spectrum. Just because the majority look or operate one way does not mean all people should operate the same way, or that any minority is somehow defective. Two people will find completely different attributes attractive, and neither of them can explain why they like these things -they just do– and it doesn’t suggest anything wrong with either of them.
Both gender and sexual preference are generally considered psychological constructs. The physical body parts do not reliably correlate to how a person feels inside, or what they like, in spite of how it may seem from the majority view. Research has found possible genetic markers or biological causes, but they do not have widespread agreement yet — so we do not know how much comes from nature and how much from nurture. The biological component begins at conception, and the social component develops in early childhood, so a person’s gender or sexuality has an innately real feeling to them, deeply ingrained long before they can make choices as an adult. It is almost never a “choice”. People who go through dramatic external transformations as adults generally did not have the resources (money, safe environment, self-confidence) required to make those changes as youths.
We particularly celebrate BDSM as a beautiful means of connecting with our dark shadow, freeing ourselves from guilt, and healing our inner wounds by ritually honoring them. When we share this ritual with others, we help them unlock their own Demon spirit, and we all grow stronger. It requires deep trust, a conscious exchange of power, intimate communication, and an unmediated experience. Of course we identify this practice as a choice made by consenting adults, although no research has made a solid case for its origins.
Supporting references:
An Introduction to the Health of Two-Spirit People (.pdf) (The term “two-spirit” belongs only to Indigenous people from certain heritages, but the ideas have value for all)
RCP Statement on Sexual Orientation (.pdf)
Amicus Brief of the American Psychiatric and Psychological Associations (.pdf)
PAHO Statement on “Cures” for an Illness that Does Not Exist (.pdf)
APA Report on Gender Identity Disorder (.pdf)
Psychological Characteristics of BDSM Practitioners (abstract only)
Note that we present these only for a view of what present-day mainstream science has to say. This does not cover the full experience, or all that we can learn, of people’s infinitely varied lives. If you have doubts, start with compassion, and then you have two options: listen sincerely when people who differ from the majority describe their experiences and needs; or mind your own damn business and let them live in peace.
